Friday, 9 March 2018

Is blogging still my passion?

This was supposed to be a 2017 recap post, but it's already in my draft for a very long time until I decided to post this today, with some twist in my post. Yes, it's already March I know, and the reason that I'm writing this is I'm making a full stop on this annual flashback resolution and beauty favourite thing.

I have to write this out is because I don't like to leave things hanging here, unless I feel like doing it next year, I'll be back. For now I won't do a 2017 recap & favourite, and 2018 resolutions. I never achieve more than 50% of them anyway so why bother.

I suddenly have a lot of thoughts in my mind so this is going to be a long ass random post of me spitting out all my thoughts.

I have been thinking that is blogging still my kind of thing now? I did plannings for constant giveaway for my readers and started to have more makeup look videos. But my plan for the past 2 months never worked out.

I noticed I'm more of a spontaneous person. I don't follow plans even tho I do that every year. You can say that I'm not a ambitious or a high achiever. However when I want to do something, I'll do it right away and achieve it, like maybe a sudden of doing today's makeup look, I'll just instantly film it and edit it with my phone.

I have to admit that I'm lazy, and I loss my motivation in blogging since last year. I tried to blame my 7 years old computer, my time management skill, and even the process of edit & upload images into my blog. But everyone knows that all of these are just excuses. For sure you gonna tell me there's a lot of famous bloggers or Youtubers out there did not startup with every equipment prepared nor having enough time to do it, but they still worked it through. Well I don't really complain how my stuffs are not as fancy as others, cause the real question is - am I still interested in doing this? 

I love beauty products, I really do, that's why I have the plan to do a lot of beauty series posts in my blog, but I found out the problem is that I'm lazy and I don't like slow and long processes, like taking pictures, select the best images, edit all images and add my watermark, upload it to my blog, and start to think of how to write, even writing this blog post struggles me a little. Just try to think of the time spent on 1 blog post, and I have to do it in a 7 years old laggy laptop, and you'll understand how I feel. Don't forget I have to survive with a full time job as well.

Some of you might think that "huh, blogger is an easy job isn't it?". Urmmm maybe for you la, but not for me cause I have high expectation in myself so I have to make sure my images are complete, information are detailed enough and my review is genuine.
On the other hand, I enjoy doing quick and easy work, like using my phone to edit images for my Instagram or edit my makeup videos using my iPhone's iMovie. 

I know I shouldn't give up after all these years of investing in my blog domain, namecards, time spent and hard work. But it was once my passion...

Maybe I'm afraid of spending too much time in writing post. Maybe I don't even like to write essays. Maybe it's fear that is stopping me. Maybe is about money. Maybe I really need step out my comfort zone and overcome my fear. Maybe is the unsatisfactory of the result after all the hard work that I put into this blog all these years. Maybe is the combination of all the maybes I mentioned in this paragraph. Or maybe it's just pure laziness.

So please give me some time to lay back before I find my inspiration or motivation. For now, I don't want to think too big or too far. I would rather stop doing things I don't feel like doing, and rather to be happy with being lay back and only do what I want to do. Who knows one day I might want to come back to be another kind of blogger or writer. I believe one day my senses and realization will come to me, or maybe someone will inspire me.

But to the brands that I'm currently still working with, don't worry! I'll still complete your post in time!! XD

Thank you for reading till the end, if you did! If you have any comments on this post, feel free to share your thoughts with me thru my Facebook! Would happy to listen to your thoughts :)

And since I'm doing more on simple and short videos now, do check out my Instagram page @NicoleYie and YouTube Channel for more new updates! I update instastories too ;)